About Me

My photo
WHEN SHE CRIES SHE CRIES A WISHING WELL* plays hide && seek with the hounds of hell ;)

Monday, June 4, 2012

Letter to Daddy..

Dear Daddy, I miss you. No one knows how much I do. Today's June 3, 2012, it's been a month since you're gone and I'm into reality now but it was tough. It was still tough. The fact that you are now only a memory I carry with me everywhere I go seems impossible to accept. I'm sorry daddy. I know I cannot help you anymore but I still feel in my heart that it was the Doctors' fault and it was not your time to die. You were so strong when you entered that hospital! I would never want to see you suffer like that again. I hated all the tubes and the medicines and the pain you were in. You were too young to die. My little brothers were too young to be Father-less. I bet JP still doesn't even understand where you really are right now. That you won't be with us anymore. I'm sorry daddy. I wasn't quite ready for you to go yet. I knew it was coming when you started acting different, but I wasn't ready for you to go in only a couple of weeks. Surely not a week before my graduation!!! T_T We warned you before that you might not be able to be on my grad if you would have your surgery now but you felt so strong and you trusted the doctors. But then they failed you. They failed us. They apologized to us when you died and I knew that they did something wrong! I know you're not ready daddy.. We're not either. Saying goodbye to you that night, holding your hand until it turns cold, watching them doing the CPR, and watching you take your last breath, I know you didn't want to leave us, that you were not ready. I'm sorry daddy. I still can't convince myself that it happened because "it was your time". All I know is that you're in a better place right now. I'm glad I was with you when you left. Thank you for hanging on until we arrive. I know you waited for me. Thankyou daddy. I know you want me to watch over mommy and my little bros. Don't worry daddy, soon,we'll be fine. Daddy, visit me. I want to know when you are near, if not, then even just in my dreams, I would love to talk to you in my dreams. Please. I miss you. JR misses you too! On your birthday we left flowers in your grave and wrote you letters just like this. And mommy, I know she misses you even more. Please always watch over her. And kuya, he wasn't able to see you when you left, please be with him in his every journey in the ship. Daddy, Please let us know when you are near. So we could send you kisses in the air. We love you daddy. I love you. I am so grateful to be your daughter. Thankyou for everything. Please don't cry when you read this, though I know you will ;) I love you! Take care of yourself there! We'll pray for you everytime. I love you daddy. I miss you! -yssay

No comments:

Post a Comment